Ten For Texas

Had a nice day running at Ten for Texas on October 11th.  I won't say I "raced" it, because, well, let's be real, you need to train to race and I have not been very successful with any real training most of the summer.  

Still, I had a great run in the never- to-be-out-done warm and humid mid-October Saturday morning, aka Ten for Texas day.  No PRs, but a respectable time of 1:31:xx.  

Initially, this was to be my barometer race to see if I was in shape to give a go at a BQ in February.  Even though I wasn't where I wanted to be, I  ended up better than I expected I would so I have committed to a training plan for The Woodlands Marathon.

(In an effort to get my blogging back in gear, I have taken the #microblogmonday challenge.  You can jump back into blogging too!)

Aeturnus Discipulus

I have been quiet the last few months as I have been on again and off again with my running, my quest with simplifying, and my faith journey.

Sometimes we just get stuck.  Usually, not everything gets stuck at the same time, but for some strange reason, in a perfect storm of events, my world got stuck.  Or at least it seemed to.  

I was able to get away on retreat a few weeks ago and the important take-away from my time in silence was, "Just Breathe" and "Love".   So simple, yet, for me, so telling.  If I feel like I am choking, stifled, angst-filled, I obviously am not "breathing".  What must I do to live?  Just breathe.  What must I do to be happy?  Just breathe.  What must I do to spend eternity with Christ?  Just breathe.  And love.  If I am breathing, I can love.  If I am choking, all I can do is worry about myself.  

I asked God to help me to remain a learner, a student, a discipulus.  Forever.  I am seeing now that the "stuck" period wasn't really a period of non-movement, rather it was a time to experience the muck of life that I allow to choke me.  And in that experience, I am humbled yet again.  I am nothing without Him.  And I would not want to BE without Him.  So I begged to remain a disciple. 

How does this pertain to running?  My running has always been reflective of my spiritual life and it is only fitting that as I emerge from another layer of myself being peeled away, that my running also go through a time of change, a time of learning, a time of growth.  So I am a beginner once more.  In my faith, in my running, in my perception of how I see others.  

I am so thankful that He has blessed me with the chance to start fresh.  In my new wineskins.  I pray that I can "just breathe" and "love".

The next smatterings of posts will be about how it feels to begin again.  Again.  

The Thoughts of a Running Mystic

I set out for an 8 miler in my mind today.  Decided to try and track some of my thoughts each mile for some amusement.  At least it got a blog post out of me!

Mile 0-1:  I FEEL GREAT!!!  It's not too hot...it's actually quite pleasant, at least in the shade.  Stay in the shade.  I think I will run 10 miles, maybe even 12!  I will pass Jim up in no time!!  

Mile 1-2:  My toe is starting to hurt.  Keep the focus on the breath.  Listening to Rich Mullins.  His music is so fantastic.  

Mile 2-3:  Wow!  It's HOT!  I'm sweating a ton!  I need to walk a bit...30 seconds.  OK...wipe the sweat off...It's hot.  really hot...did I mention how hot it is?  Jim who?  Jessica who?  What challenge?  Maybe I will turn this into a run for time instead of distance.  I can run 30 minutes and turn around.  That would be ok.  I mean, I'd be over 6 miles in an hour.  That's ok by me. Dang it's hot.  I love this song....

Mile 3-4:   I'm at 25 minutes.  Surely I can make it 8 miles today.  I will decide at the corner.  If I want to cut it short, I will take the short way home.  Rich Mullins can really grab the essence of God, can't he?  Maybe another short walk break.  OK...one minute of walking-GO.  If I cut the run short, I will get home to start the laundry that much faster.  Decision made, I am NOT cutting the run short.  I will run 8 miles and then do the laundry after lunch.  

Mile 4-5:  Can't turn back now!  Heading home the long way.  Look at that pool...Forget the laundry, we are going to the POOL when I get home!  I mean, it is HOT!   I love the lyrics to this song.  Lord, I know that you love me, but sometimes, I feel so far away.  It doesn't take more than an instant for me to become aware of your presence that I recall your love and mercy.  You forgive me once and forever.  All of my sin and shame are forgiven.  Yes, even those. Thank you, Lord.  

Mile 5-6:  How would I describe my spirituality?  I am drawn to the Franciscan life.  A life of quiet simplicity, a life of gospel love, a life lived that is not of my own design.  I am also drawn to the Ignatian interior life.  Finding God in each moment of every day; in each person I meet along the way.  I am so blessed.  I want a BLT.  Wave hello to that lady and smile.  I might be the only person she meets today with a smile. 

Mile 6-7:  (Bathroom stop)  I hope that there aren't any horseflies in there today.  I despise flies.  I hate horseflies.  OK, Lord, show me where you are in the horsefly.  What is their purpose?  I don't think that they have one.  Running past the dog park...no dogs out there today.  TOO HOT!  Poor Rosie, she wanted to run.  It's too warm.  I am too tired to take her out.  Maybe tonight when it cools down.  Oh, wait, I can't go tonight...I am picking up the Missionaries!!!  Foo is coming home from Haiti!!  Praise God!!  I can't wait for that BLT!!!  I am so glad Jim and Jessica encouraged me in this challenge...I love those guys!  We are a team.  A team in Christ!  Holding hands and running towards that finish line!  Jim can get that cake! 

Mile 7-8:  I am feeling good right now!  Everything feels right...even the sweat.  Thank you Lord for a glorious run, for time with you, for all that you bring me to, I love you!  I wonder if I can get Lem to start on the bacon while I shower...

Mile 8-home:  Switched to Third Day and sang King of Glory!  

Home:  Rosie is waiting...headed back out the door for a Rosie mile.  She loves this.  I love that we can do this together.  Wouldn't this whole experience be a ridiculous blog entry?

April Digits

Coming from my running background, these numbers just boggle my mind.

April Totals - Peak IM training

Swimming - 14 miles in 9:20

Biking - 491 miles in 26:52

Running - 108 miles in 18:04 (makes me wonder about that sub 24 H 100 miler in 2014...)

Total Mileage:  616 miles  Total Time:  55:03

This does not include the yoga and core fitness each week.

Now I understand why I am seeing such a physical transformation of myself.  I'm grateful that I have been injury-free thus far.  I know that if these were all running miles, well, I wouldn't be feeling this good.

Not feeling worried, just feeling ready.

On Being a Runner

April 15, 2013

Patriot's Day in Boston.  The beloved Boston Marathon.  An event so much like every other marathon, yet, in the same breath, so uniquely different.

The attacks that transpired yesterday were an attack on freedom.  Be it a domestic or foreign source of origin, it was an attack on the American Spirit.

As a running community, support and steadfastness are never in short supply.  Any reason we can find to run, be it a way to help a local food pantry, raise money for a cancer patient, drum up support for our fallen heroes, we are there, doing sometimes what is the only thing we know how to do.  We run.  Some fast, some slow, some middle of the pack.  But we run.  We don't care where our fellow runner stands politically, spiritually, or financially.  We only care.  We share a bond that very few others share.

I have met many people, discovered that they are runners, and while we may have no other thing in common, we run.  Together.  Even if we aren't together.  We race, together.  Even if they run a 6 min pace and I run a 12 min pace, we are connected by the spirit of the run.

Many have noted that the attack in Boston was on runners.  And it was.  But what's more, they attacked those who support runners.  The ones who might never run, who may have run once upon a time, the ones who make it possible for US to run.  The attack was directed at our support, our life line, the very ones who sacrifice the most to allow us running folks to do what we do. 

While we runners will do most anything to support one another, we will do even more for them, the unsung heroes in our world.  There are no bounds.  There are no limits.  There are no excuses for what evil has done.  There is no explanation that will suffice.  Evil is evil, but God is God, and Truth, Freedom, Peace, and Love ALWAYS prevail.  Always.

However you choose to honor those affected by the senseless, selfish, evil that took place yesterday, never allow your heart to be tainted by what occurred.  Allow it to grieve, allow it to heal.    But don't let evil win. 

Romans16:20

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

Pax

Relentlessly Forward

Moving past the past and towards the future, whatever it holds.  Can't change the past and I'm happy to be done living in it.

Lessons will come slowly and I'm already planning another go at it next year.  Cactus Rose has not seen the last of me just yet.

Cactus Rose Prep

Race week is finally here and taper madness has set in!  We have enjoyed some distraction with the help of our Rosie, but when I found myself vacuuming the walls in the family room, I could no longer deny the taper vortex I am currently being sucked into.

Since Saturday, I have really tried to take stock of where I am in relation to this race.  What are the positives and where do the challenges lie?

Positives:

My training has been spot on, having only missed a few runs, and none of my long runs.  I did cut one of the long runs short by about 2 miles, but the heat that day more than made up for the lost miles.  

500+ running miles have been invested into this race.  I have run as many "hill" workouts as I had intended to and utilized spin classes to further prepare my legs for the climbs and descents that I can't get living in the flatlands.  

Biking, swimming, yoga, weight-training, were all added in this year and I believe have made me stronger and better conditioned as an athlete.  I didn't set out to just trash my legs this training cycle.   

I am better trained physically for Cactus Rose than any other race I have ever run. I am not injured.  My weight is right where it needs to be, and my energy levels seem good.  

I have experience on this course, even though I DNF'd in 2010, I have a good idea of what to expect out there.  If I can make the first loop a fun experience, focused on enjoying the scenery, taking in the proper nutrition, and not let the brick in my head take over my race, I will get to the second loop and turn on the endurance machine.  

I know what I need to get through this race, I know how to prepare my drop bags and I know that if I put one foot in front of the other, I may not meet my time goal, but I WILL finish the race barring an unforseeable injury. 

Challenges:     

The terrain.  The terrain.  The terrain.  No amount of hill training I can do on a treadmill can fully prepare me for the inclines in Bandera.  What's more, the rolling rock can't be duplicated on the flats I live on. 


I will be alone for this race.  I will know people out there, but I will be alone.  No crew, no family coming to encourage me, no friends that I am planning to run with.  I don't have a good track record with these circumstances, but this does not mean that record needs to continue.

My nutrition plan has not come together as well as I had hoped.  I began using EFS a few weeks ago and it looked promising, but thanks to my high maintenance stomach, I can't use the product anymore.  So water and S caps are the standard for the day.   I do know that I need about 200-250 calories per hour and I should be drinking about 20 ounces per hour, especially in the heat.  Looking at the forecast, race day will be the coolest weather I have run in this season, possibly requiring gloves and a long sleeve to start.   I will need to be very aware of my hydration level as becoming dehydrated has ended a few races for me.  

I woke up with a cold today.  I have been so healthy, so strong, and have really tried to steer clear of illness and injury.  Today, the cold that has hit several friends and family members has tried to make it's way into my body.  I'm taking everything I can to combat this thing.   The last thing I want to do is DNS because I have a cold...

Goals:

My goals for this race are simple.  I need to finish.  I need to win the mental battle of this bad boy and finish this thing.  For Hans.  For Monika.  For Kelly.   For a dear friend who was suddenly sidelined from his racing schedule during one of his most successful racing seasons ever.  
I'd love to finish this race in 12 hours.  I'd be happy with 13.  What I don't want to do is set a time goal that will cause me to drop from the race if I don't think I can finish in that time frame.  

This race will serve as a mental preparation for Ironman.  Self-supported, no crews, no help other than a bare minimum aid station.  If I can get through Cactus, I feel I will be one step closer to finishing IMTX in May.

Taper Time

My training cycle is complete and though I have had a few bumps in the road, it has been a very consistent 20+ weeks of training, probably my most consistent of any I have ever done.
I believe the cross-training from the triathlons has been the best thing I ever could have placed into the training plan.
As the mileage has picked up greatly the past month, some of that cross-training has had to drop off and I truly miss it.  As I head into the next two weeks of taper, I am looking forward to having the time again to swim more, get a few more yoga sessions in, and maybe even an extra spin session or two.

My biggest challenge will be the mental/emotional hurdle of Cactus Rose.  I am already heading into the race 0/1, which most people would feel they should take the attitude of "I'm going to kill this race", but I have a reluctant sort of revenge.  I want to kill this race, and perhaps I will, but this race is no joke.  This is not a race that I could walk if needed.  It's terrain is the most challenging I have ever been on, and as a flatlander, the most challenging to figure out how to train. I respect this trail and this race as well as this distance.

I have three goal plans for this race, the first goal of course is to finish.  The others, I may reveal beforehand, however, I hesitate to do this because I typically mess up badly when I do that.

For now, I am sticking to the taper plan, catching up on duties that have been neglected around the house, and mentally preparing for a jaunt through the hills.

Heaven

With great sadness I write today to let my followers know that the young boy, Hans, who is/was my inspiration for running my first 5K, entered Heaven yesterday.

As it was, I had my own little boy, Boo, at the doctor yesterday for a suspicious looking mole on his back.  I thought of Hans all day and wondered how he was doing.  This morning, I received the message that he has passed away.

I feel so selfish for my tears, my anger, my pain.  I did not walk the path of cancer with Hans.  His family and very close friends did.  My tears, anger, and pain come from the sorrow that this family must feel, and the complete helplessness that I feel about not being able to do much after praying.

What do we pray for?  A healing?  A miracle?  Understanding? Comfort? Heaven?  When the pain is so great, do we pray for it all to just stop?  I know I did with my Mom.  But for a young boy?  A boy of only 9 years?  Sometimes, I just don't understand.  But I do know this.  Hans changed the hearts and lives of many, many people. He was the inspiration for me to run a 5K after a mere 5 weeks of running experience.  He afforded me the opportunity to DO something WHILE praying.  And he continues to provide this for me.

The family has asked that we pray for them.  And if you are so inclined, please pray a Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary.   I am off to hug my babies. 

CASA 5K 2012

I headed back to this race with the tongue in cheek mind set of "defending my title", which was really just a joke because I know I have not done any type of speed work and as well, I assumed this race would have many more runners than it did last year.

Richard and I registered about the same time.  I am not sure who egged who on more.  But all in good fun, we registered and knew that above all else, this great local race is all about one thing...the kids.
A great organization and a great group of folks putting on a fun race, what's not to love!

Last year, I believe the attendance was low because there were two other local races of the same distance going on.  Also, this race is a trail race which does deter some folks from coming out. If they only knew what they were missing.

This year, the race was much larger.  About 300 for the 5K and 100 for the 1K.  Yours truly was picked by Gary Van Kuiken along with three others to help demonstrate the moves for the YMCA song.  Sorry world...someone had to do it.

The kids race was first and are they ever the cutest things!  I just love watching kids run!  It makes my heart happy!  They have no care as to time, pace, place, etc.  They just run for the pure joy of it.

The 5k was next up.  Richard and I had done a small warm up on the course prior to the race start and found a large puddle but nothing too risky.  Richard had a "plan" and I figured I would tag along for the ride for as long as I could.  I didn't expect I would stay with him too long as I really had not been feeling that great.

The race began and the first mile was done in 7:36.  A bit too fast for me.  I slowly let Richard creep ahead of me and by 1.5 miles, I was well behind him.  I tried to get my HR down as I really didn't feel very good.  I kept running, but at mile 2, I began to feel as though I was going to throw up.  Not from running, from sickness.

I actually took a short walk break to get my stomach to calm down.  I can't believe I had to walk in a 5k, but I did.   I came upon a young girl from our homeschooling group, Clare, and she was holding her own!  Great little runner and someone to keep your eyes on in the future.  She took first in her age group.

I picked the running back up and stuck to nose breathing the rest of the race.  I figured any chance of winning anything went down the tubes with the walk and that was ok by me.  There turned out to be several very slick muddy areas on the course and I was expecting to see a lot of falls from those who were not accustomed to trail running.  I didn't see anyone fall though, which is a good thing. 

After crossing the finish line and catching my breath, we checked our times and I was first in my age group again, with a time of 25:26.  8:10/mile.  Richard took first in his age group with a 23:06!  Nice and speedy!

We were enjoying visiting with friends and watching the different activities that the race had going on.  Richard went back to check results and found that I had been awarded the Female Masters Award.  I was not expecting this in the least!

We snapped some more pictures and received our awards.  I have a nice gift card to buy my next pair of Flows with!  That is how I came to buy my first pair of Pure Projects last year!

Thanks for a fun day, CASA!  What you do is amazing stuff!  Thank you for letting me a small part of it all!

Decision!

Since Clear Lake Tri, I have been faced with beginning the focused running training that will hopefully prepare me for Cactus Rose 50.

Truth be told, I have really struggled with whether or not I honestly want to do this race.  I have not felt in my heart that I wanted to for a while and I was hesitant to even mention it to anyone.

I did tell a few people close to me and they all confirmed for me that it made no sense to show up to start a race that my heart wasn't in.  Cactus Rose is not the kind of race that one can traverse without their mind and heart focused on the finish line.

I made the decision to train for a solid few weeks and then make my decision.  Admittedly, I was a bit nervous about the distance of this race.  Others have a hard time to believe this when I tell them that the 50 mile distance is challenging me emotionally, but it has been.  Yes, I have run several 50 milers, however, I DNFd CR50 in 2010 and to go down that road again is not on my list of things to do this fall.

Thinking that getting through some higher mileage cycles and seeing how my body adjusted to the increasing running mileage, I could better discern my fitness level for CR, I set about setting a date to make a decision.  During these higher mileage cycles, I have not let up the intensity or frequency of the swims and spins/cycling as well as weight-training that I had taken on.  It has been a challenge to get all of these workouts in, but the payoff has been worth the effort.

Tomorrow is that day.  But my decision is made.  I am in.  My heart is in.  My head is in.  My fitness is better than it has ever been.  I will run Cactus Rose 50.  And God-willing, I will finish Cactus Rose. 

Another decision that I have had on my mind is whether or not to run the "training run" in Bandera on Sept 22.  At this point, I still can't commit one way or the other.  I will think on this a bit more before making a final decision.  The two reasons I would not do it are the time it takes away from the family and the risk of injury on the CR course which could take me out of the race altogether.

As ridiculous as this sounds, if I should end up with an injury at CR, I would prefer it be while running a race rather than a training run.   There are obvious benefits to running the trail before race day, but I am not convinced that those benefits are worth the risk.

I am entirely convinced that my current level of fitness and endurance is the direct result of the cross-training taken on while participating in the sport of Triathlon this year.  I have trained harder than I ever did while "just running" and yet, I feel stronger, fitter, healthier, and have more endurance than I believe I ever had before.  Therefore, I will continue with the current training regime, only letting up the last week or so before CR.  I can not duplicate that difficult course in my hometown, but I can run on trashed legs and ride that fine line between fatigue and injury.  It will require me to be completely in tune with my physical state and not ignore any type of pain, ache, etc.  It will also require me to be diligent in my daily nutrition to prevent my body from breaking down.  This is a challenge for me, as I often forget to eat, but one benefit of tri training has been the increased appetite it has afforded me.  I wake up hungry! 

Here's to that little race in Bandera!  Happy training all!

Increased Training; Increased Focus

As the mileage begins to increase on the training plan, I am noticing a greater focus on being in the moment.  Previously, while working through the training plans of the season, I would find myself not really focused on the run at hand, but rather, thinking about the next one.  When would it be?  Where would it be?  Would it be a good one?  Which race would I do?  And so on.

This training cycle, and perhaps it is because I have added in a few new tricks to the bag with swimming and biking, I find I am truly intentional in the workout I am doing at that moment.  I have been focused on my breathing and form while running.  Not so much my pace.  I am also really trying to listen to what my body is telling me.  If I have a wonkiness in my leg, I make a mental note and try to address it immediately or shortly after the run is complete.

In my swim, I am solely thinking about breathing, head position, how my hand is entering the water, my pull-through, etc.  And occasionally, it all comes together for a lap or two and I feel amazingly strong!

During the biking, which I am totally new to, I am focused on maintaining the proper RPMs, breathing, again, the position of my feet on the pedal.  I am entranced by the "push/pull" mantra that my legs sing while feeling the rotation of the wheels.

For someone who as easily distracted as I am, these moments of total focus are a real gift.  It is where the cares and concerns of any day are stripped away and I am able, for just a little while, to embrace the moment for exactly what it is.  This is a true gift and one I hope to be able to appreciate for a very long time.

Blessings Run

Heading into this weekend, I had full knowledge that getting my miles in was going to prove to be a challenge, but I had a plan and the plan worked...in my mind.

Then reality showed up as the front door and took any hope of what I thought would be away.  I kept my head about me and re-figured my plan.  And then reality showed up again.  So once more, I re-figured the plan and again, reality won out.  Slowly, I could feel the fires of angst being stoked.

I am embarrassed to admit that many times this is the way things go in my life, and I tend to just throw my hands up and stress about missed mileage, missed workouts, and act badly with bouts of pouting and frustration.  Over the past several months, I have been working on my attitude when these things come up and today afforded me the perfect opportunity to exercise my "blessings" muscle.

Today's lesson looked like this:                              

I am going to run in Huntsville!  -

Reality showed up when Mark told me he was working today which meant I needed to stay close to home for the kids. 

Blessing realized - I have a wonderful husband willing to work 6-7 days a week to provide the kids and I a very good life.  

I have happy, healthy, active children that require me to be with them to keep them safe, fed, and cared for.  

I switched the plan to run with my local running club early in the morning. -

Reality showed up in the form of an adorable little boy who wanted to crawl into bed 20 minutes before my alarm because he was scared and needed his mommy.  Early morning run out.

Blessing realized - Boo is 6 years old and chances are, he won't be climbing into bed with me many more times.  He is working through his developmental fears and I am so thankful that I can be the one to be there for him, (thunder, dark, scary noises, all a big deal to a little boy).

I decided to run as soon as the kids were awake while the older kids were around to babysit. -

Reality once again arrived in the form of little Boo sneaking downstairs to surprise me with a "breakfast".

Blessing realized -  He poured a cup of coffee with cream, placed it onto the table with a cute little clementine on a plastic toddler plate.  He was so excited to see my reaction to his efforts!  He told me he could only pour a little coffee because the pot was so heavy and he used the plastic plate because he couldn't reach the ceramic plates.  He and I sat together and enjoyed the moment.  He savored watching me eat the orange and drink the coffee.  It was a priceless moment that I would never have had if "my plan" had happened.

Switched up the plan one last time to just go run for two hours while the teens were still at home. -

Reality, my dear companion, reminded me that my teens had a busy day at Church serving at Mass and then a Baptism service.  This meant I had less then 2 hours to get my mileage in.  

Blessing realized - Mark and I are blessed with amazing kids that feel called to serve others as much as they can.  We are continually humbled by their dedication to God, to our faith, and to our parish.  We are inspired by their witness.  

I headed out the door promising my son that I would be back in plenty of time for him to get to the Church.  As I set out on my 90 minute run, these thoughts filled my mind.

Sure, I want to run for 2 hours, but I get 90 minutes.  I am blessed to have 90 minutes.  To run.  To pray.  To sing along with my music.  To see the town.  To feel the sun.  To feel the rain.  To breathe.  I also had the blessing of snuggling with Boo, having breakfast with him, and reassuring his sweet soul.  

 I had 90 minutes to offer thanksgiving for the friends and family in my life, some of whom were having great races today!    

I had 90 minutes to pray for the soul of an acquaintance from our Church family that gained her eternal life this morning after 10 months of battling cancer.  While I rest in the knowledge that she is blissfully happy, I grieve with her family who will miss her so much until they are once again re-united.  

Would I have given up 30 minutes of run time for all of that?  Yes, I would.  In fact, I would give the entire run up for that. 

Y Freedom Tri 2012

Going into this race, I didn't have much in mind other than to have fun, finish, and learn some things along the way, especially with regards to nutrition on a race of this distance.  I didn't have time goals for this race because I am not very cognizant of my ability in the area of the swim or bike.  I had hoped for 25 - 26 mins on the run.  Richard gave me a time suggestion and he hit it very close! (He predicted 1:15.)

The week leading up to the race, I have noticed pain in both feet.  I didn't have any problems with this during the race, but they are aching tonight.

Woke up at 4 am and out the door by 4:35.  Arrived in plenty of time to pick up the race packet and get settled into the transition area. 

I had concerns that I would not remember certain things today, such as using my inhaler, eating, taking the gels, etc., so I wrote the plan directly onto my arm.  This was very helpful and I will probably do this again.

I left the handheld and Garmin at home and focused on relaxing as much as I could while also pushing myself, drinking on the bike and at the aid stations instead of carrying my bottle.

The Swim:

I had seeded myself with an 8:00 minute swim.  The pool was a 50 meter pool, which I had somehow overlooked.  The swim was a 300 meter swim, shorter than the CB & I tri.   I think I waited about 15-20 mins to actually hit the water.  Swimmers were sent off in 10 second increments and this was very well organized.

As I started in my swim, my chest started closing up and I began to feel my asthma take hold.  I knew I had to get a grip on this or I would be done.  My head immediately started thinking of quitting, of drowning, of having an all out attack in the water and have to be rescued.  I slowed my stroke down and even did some breast stroke to gain my control of my breathing again.  After about 30 meters or so, I felt better and fell into a comfortable stroke.  In the last 50 of the swim, I noticed several people walking in the water.  I had not noticed that the pool was shallow the entire length!  I could have put my feet down at any time, and never realized it!  I'm glad I didn't know this during my panic attack else this swim could have gone a totally different direction.    I finished the swim in 7:34.

Walked/jogged into transition and promptly ate a Cliff gel and an S cap.  This is the first time I have used a gel in over 2 years.  I knew I had to try something as eating trail mix while on a bike is a bit tricky.

The Bike:

Headed out onto the bike course which was very, very well organized and officiated.  I felt completely safe on the roads and even at the intersections.  The traffic officers and volunteers did a wonderful job keeping us in one piece.  I felt pretty good on the ride, pushing at points and backing off at others.  I kept reminding myself to conserve for the run.  I found that I actually picked up speed towards the end of the bike, which may be related to the wind that blew a nice rain in just as I ended my ride.  Bike time - 37:07

I hopped off the bike, not so gracefully, but I didn't fall, so that's always a plus!  T2 went more quickly than T1 as the shoes were easier to get on and I didn't have to mess with socks this time around.  Took another S Cap and headed out on the run as the skies opened up cooling us off and making for a fun muddy run for about 3/4 of a mile!

The Run:

The run went very well.  I felt stronger with every stride and am quite certain I had negative splits.  I passed many of the faster-than-me swimmers and cyclists that had passed me just a little while beforehand.  I tried to keep the mood fun and encouraging.  Most people were happy to be out there, but there were a few that weren't big fans of my happy mood!  I've had days like that, so I understand that mindset.

I finished the run in 25:27.   Total race time:  1:14:37.  Finished 7th in AG and 146 out of 500 participants.  

Participating in this race was fun for many reasons, but probably most importantly is because this is where the seed was planted by my great friend, Richard.  Last year, he invited me to run this with him as a relay and I can recall standing outside the pool fence looking on at the swimmers thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could try this one day.  Two months later, I was starting in my Master's swim class and today, I was on the other side of that fence!  

 I was able to select a military person to honor for this race, and it was on my heart to run for Luke Finney, USN.  He is an amazing young man who has already done great things in his young life.  I am blessed to know him and his family and while I know my effort in this race can not compare to what he has done, is doing, and will do, physically, I pray that this small showing of support is an encouragement to him as he continues on his path with Navy.

This race was an inspiring one to be a part of as it was meant to honor our military men and women.  There were many DAVs out on the course, serving us yet again as they cheered us on, handed out water, and directed racers to stay on the course.  I found myself thanking as many as I possibly could and being moved to tears to see so many of our older service people supporting this race and this cause.  Seeing the military representatives carry their respective branch's flag across the finish line all together was very moving.  A true moment of pride for any American!

Jumpstart

 My training has had no focus of late, because, well, I have no need for a plan until the end of June.  I am not handling this time without direction very well.  Turns out, I thrive best on organized chaos, strict schedules, tight deadlines, and the like.
This is our second week of summer and with very little running or training of any sort to be had, I have accomplished almost nothing.
No closets have been organized, no shelves cleared.  No drawers pillaged through.  Not even a lazy day at the pool.
I guess this is what happens when coming off of several months of stress, the un-fun kind.
The beginning of this week found me feeling like I could not care less if I ever ran again.  No matter how much sleep I would get, I was still tired. I bumped up the iron, slept when I wanted and then I noticed I started feeling better on Wednesday.
I met a friend for a bike ride which was cut short by a tremendous thunderstorm.  Last night, I was ready to hit the pool, but another thunderstorm rolled in just as we were heading to the Y.  I could have gone and jumped on the treadmill, but that was not appealing to my senses at all.  I opted for an arm workout at home with the free weights and my 6 year old Boo was all in!  He makes everything fun!
Today, I am feeling the need for a run.  But if I don't get one, since there are no sitters here right now, then I suppose it will have to wait another day.
I need a jumpstart to get my mojo back.  Not sure where it went or why it left.  I did register for a few sprint tris and I have Cactus Rose to start getting ready for, but even those carrots are leaving me less than worried about missed workouts.  Of course, no plan means no workouts are there to be missed.
What is YOUR favorite thing to do to get mojo back?

Layers

The experience of competing as a triathlete this past Saturday was yet another opportunity to peel away a layer of fear, doubt, and insecurity from my soul.

Many people have dismissed my journey to this race as "no big deal" because I have run longer distances than anyone else they know.  They do not understand my sense of fear because they do not live in the pool (pardon the pun) of self-doubt that I sometimes find myself drowning in.

Last year at the Texas Ironman, I found myself reiterating over and over again how I would NEVER do a tri.  I COULD never do a tri.  And seeing these amazing men and women who are much stronger than I finish this race only confirmed my thoughts that I could and never would attempt this challenge.

Then just as surely as I was convicted to never attempt a tri, I came to the realization that I did not want to NOT do something because I was so fearful of it.  The seed was now planted and the journey began.

I started swimming slowly but consistently in June.  After awhile, I found that I rather enjoy it.  In fact, I enjoy it tremendously.  Competing in swimming is really not something that I feel compelled to do.  I use it as a way to counter the miles I put on my legs in running.  I embrace the relaxation and recovery that I feel when swimming.  Swimming is a wonderful adjunct to running as it is the only activity that I have found that comes even close to the way I feel when I run.  If I have a wonky leg or hip, swimming is still an option and typically does not compromise the rest that my legs are requiring.

I also began biking more consistently, just to see what it would feel like to add something else into the mix.  Admittedly, so far, I am not a huge fan of cycling, but I don't hate it.  I have much more respect for those who do cycle and cycle well.  Biking takes a lot of strength and determination much like ultra running does, but in a different way.  I hope to develop myself as a stronger cyclist.  I plan to start looking for a decent used bike and all of the gear that goes along with it.

From that last statement, one might have guessed that I have decided that I may be in this for longer than one race.  And you would be correct.  I don't know where this journey will lead me just yet.  For now, I am going to take it one step at a time, one race at a time. 

I do not plan to give up ultra running; it is who I am.  But I also can not acknowledge the potential growth I can see for myself as an athlete through the challenge of triathlons.   I was never one to fit into anyone's "box" of what to expect from me. I am a fairly simple person that in the end, just wants to say that I have tried everything I ever wanted to try and never let fear stop me. 

258

Focus

After dealing with my last "injury", costochondritis, I have had a hard time finding my focus, specifically, my focus to running.

I miss running the longer miles, but the motivation to run long solo isn't really there right now.  I suppose this is ok as I don't have anything coming up until October.  I'm sure my legs are enjoying the time to repair and prepare for what will be coming up in the next month or so.

I have been spending more time in the pool and on the bike to add some variety to my training and get some use out of some muscles that usually stay fairly dormant.

Swimming has been a welcome addition.  I find myself really aching to hit the pool for some laps when I miss my normal times.  Cycling isn't something I can say I have enjoyed as much, but since a friend has loaned a very nice bike to me, I can see myself enjoying it more than before.  I find this very interesting because I came to running from spinning!  I did spin classes consistently for almost 2 years before I tried running.  I decided to try running and if I was able to complete a 3 month block of running, I would treat myself to a real bike.  Once I ran my first 5k, I was completely hooked on running and though I did buy myself a mountain bike, I have not really ridden it as much as I thought I would.

I have a new-found appreciation for cyclists now.  It's not as easy as I thought it looked, nor as easy as I recall it to be.  Even now, when I spin at the Y, my pace is much faster than when on the road.  The resistance of the street and the wind truly make my ride a serious workout!

Attempting to run off the bike proves challenging.  My legs feel as they have never before.  Almost as if they belong to someone else.  It seems as though I am running through cement, but when I review my pace after the run, I am quite shocked to see that my pace is faster than I typically run.  Maybe I should ride a bike before every run?!

As I muster up the focus required to get back into the ultra training, I am enjoying doing other workouts that only seem to break down more and more barriers I had previously set on myself.

One thing I know for sure, I will not back down from a challenge out of fear anymore.  Desire, definitely, but fear, that doesn't live here anymore.

Mom

It's hard to believe that you went home 7 years ago today.  If only I knew how strong you really were, how deeply you really loved, and how driven you were to stay with us.  If only I had known to ask you all of those questions that have come up since then.  If only.

You are the reason I am who I am today.  You are my example of strength and passion.  You loved life so much and you have passed that joy and commitment to live each day I am given as if it were my last.

I miss you so much and I look forward to the day we can be together again.  Until that time, I will be honoring your memory by making you proud of who I have become in spite of my earlier efforts to mess things up in a big way.  I will raise your grandchildren and great-grandchildren to remember you as a woman of dignity and honor.  And I will run.  For you.

Lynne

September 29, 1942 - March 28, 2005

Comeback?

Seems I am feeling a bit better this week, and I am so thankful!  A DM friend mentioned a condition that she had Costochondritis and I believe that ultimately, this is what I am dealing with here.  Dislocation just doesn't seem quite right and the x ray showed no discernable fractures.

Yesterday I was pain-free almost the entire day.  Today, I had a slight increase, but not nearly as painful as I was last week.  Feeling good and having to take things easy is difficult for me, but I am trying as hard as I can to listen to my body and let it guide me towards a complete healing.

39 days til my first tri.