#Microblog Mondays: Happy Graduation!

My beloved nephew graduated from Marine Boot Camp this past week.  He is an Honor Graduate and Leader of his Company.  We are so proud of him!  And we also celebrate the 239th birthday of the Marine Corps!  They are definitely, the Few and the Proud.  We are so grateful for all who have served! 
(In an effort to get my blogging back in gear, I have taken the #microblogmonday challenge.  You can jump back into blogging too!)

For Scott

You were taken from us a week ago today.  Never did a daily mile post go by that you didn't add an encouraging word to.  The advice you passed along through our email conversations will forever be saved in a special folder with your name on it. 

Thank you for being a wonderful friend.  I can not  imagine how much your family misses you.  I miss you.  All of DM misses you.  And most of us have never met you.

I pray I can touch half as many lives with half as much kindness as you did, friend.  I pray that you and Dale are riding the hills of Heaven together while looking down on us.  Don't mind our tears.  They will fade in time leaving behind a smile that is there because we were blessed to know you.

I pray for the soul that hit you, going 100 miles per hour.  I know that he can't live in peace now.  May he find a way to go on in a constructive way, because I am certain you wouldn't want it any other way.

May your family recall all of the memories you have made together and that they share the many stories of your love and life with your grandchildren.   I pray that your beautiful wife knows just how much you want to be with her.  I also pray that she feels all of the love from the people around the globe that you have inspired and encouraged.  

This week has been so difficult.  I am thankful I was able to talk to you today while on my prayer walk.  I was able to let go of some of the anger, some of the pain, some of the hurt.  There will always be a Scott sized hole in my heart.  Tonight, however, I bid you peace.  Peace in the eternal space that only love resides. 

Rest dear one. 

Hannah

Sweet Hannah came into our lives as quietly as she left.  13 years ago, we fostered a dog that was destined for the other end of the needle unless we could get her to eat and "cheer up" enough for the humane society.  A few days in our home, she was eating out of my hand, literally.  Her first meal was a few pieces of "Life" cereal.  Then we discovered that she had heartworms.  The organization agreed to treat her for the condition since she was brought in by a group of construction workers who pulled together enough money (500.00!) to donate to the shelter if they would agree to take her in.  I will always believe in the goodness of people.

Hannah was once named Mama Dog and had had at least one litter of puppies in a construction zone.  She became Hannah in August of 2001, a week before my 5th child was born.  She was the best of the best.  Never complained.  Never misbehaved.  Always obedient and loyal.

If Hannah barked, you better figure out why.  She watched over the home quietly and gently and maintained a sort of balance for us all.

April 27, 2014, Hannah became very ill, very quickly and was gone before we knew what was happening.  It was my prayer that when her time with us was done, that God would take her quickly and that I would know without a doubt that it was her time.  My prayer was answered.

Hannah walked many years with us.  She was the childhood dog to all 6 of the children.  She loved most everyone.  And if she didn't like you, there was a good reason for it.

I will miss my shadow.  I will miss watching her beautiful, lean body run ahead of me through the woods.  I will miss hearing her footsteps on the floor as she made the security rounds every now and then in the house.  I will miss petting her to soothe my own soul.

The luckiest people in the world get to share their lives with a good dog.  I have been one of the luckiest of all.

Recovering and Reclaiming

This post will be quite scattered as my mind is in that general state most of the time lately.

I am in week 3 of recovery and just as I was beginning to feel somewhat like myself and fairly well-rested, I have developed an acute case of a very unhappy psoas muscle.

It may not be as acute as initially believed as I have been thinking back over the last week before the race and see now that there were signs that were probably mis-read as something else.

Thankfully, I am in recovery and I can take the time to get this squared away.  This leaves me with a mind that does more thinking about things than normally afforded.

So here are a few of my ramblings, feel free to skip to the next person's blog.
Finding the New Normal  not as easy as it seems.  Going from 16- 20 hours of training time + prep and clean up time which could easily add another 15 hours per week if not more, to zero - 8 hours per week...very weird.

The top 3 things that made my race successful:
Aside from prayer and lots of it on many fronts and by many people the top 3 contributors to my IMTX finish
1.  HR training - For years I have attempted to HR train to no avail.  This time around, I stuck with my HR zones after developing them myself, based on my personal ridiculously high HR.  I did not race with a Garmin, only a HR monitor.  The majority of the race was done in Zone 2/3.  I am happy with that given the heat of the day and the goal of finishing by cut off.

2.  Be Iron Fit - One of the concerns I had about taking on the challenge of IM was the fact that, unlike many other athletes in the area, I could not budget in a coach for my training.  I would have to find a plan that would work for me and pray that it was good enough.  Be Iron Fit did that for me.  I did a lot of comparing of mileage and time between Fink's plan and the plan of local coached friends and found them to be close to the same.  Of course, being able to have a personal coach comes with benefits that a book can't provide, but I am blessed with some great friends who were happy to share their experience with me. 

3.  Tailwind  - I have reviewed this product a few times already, so I won't do it again here.  I do believe that Tailwind saved my race. I never felt bad.  I never felt dehydrated or low in electrolytes.  This product does what it says it will do.  Period. 

People often mentioned to me that they have no idea how I could possible have had time to train for this event.  The truth is, other parts of my daily life suffered.  Below is a short list, in no certain order. 

my family time
my laundry
my checkbook - not balanced
my household organization
lack of time to cook real meals
lack of time to  plan menus or grocery shop
my ability to read a book
my ability to watch a movie or a tv show
my time with friends

Lessons I learned while Training

I never knew if I could really make it through the training for this race, but my motto was, I will just keep going until I hear otherwise.  In other words, when deciding to do something, even when we aren't sure, keep putting one foot in front of the other until it is obvious that we should be doing something different.
Prayer was crucial as I truly did not ever want this race to be solely about me.  I wanted to glorify God in my efforts. 

My family is truly amazing.  Every single one of them.  Near and far.  And my friends.  I can't even begin to imagine my life without them.  From in-person support, to texts, emails, private messages, voice mails, cards, signs, chocolate covered strawberries, mentions in DM and FB posts, and any other means of support offered, my friends and my family did that for me.

Questions that I get asked most often

The most popular question after, "How do you feel" or "How did you find time for that?" is "Where is your tattoo?!"

I will not be getting one.  This race was never something that I believed I could do on my own power so I do not feel that I can claim stake to the M-dot being permanently marked on my body.  If I ever was to have one, I would have to have Phil 4:13 incorporated into the tattoo as well.

What's next?

The next question after the tattoo question is, would you do it again?  I respond with an emphatic YES!  I would absolutely do it again!  However, for now, I won't.  Training is so much fun and I have never felt stronger than I do right now.  But it has come at a cost.  I have given up time with the ones I love the most and while they wouldn't have had it any other way, I am not ready to ask them to give up more.  For now, I will focus on some shorter distance races so that I can keep my skills up and focus on strengthening my ability in each discipline.  As well, I also miss running trails and would like to spend some time doing that this season.  There are a few possible tris I am looking at, nothing over the Half IM distance though. 

Which is harder Ultras or IMs, which do you like better? 

Ultras and Ironman are both filled with their own challenges and their own thrills.  I love all of it.  I love the preparation, the people, the training, the excitement, even the nervous anxiety that sets in.  The taper, not so much, but I don't think we are supposed to like it. Recalling that every thing I am blessed to do is a gift from God, I can't say that I regret doing any of it.  (OK...maybe not the night time trail run that had starting temps of 112 degrees.)

I  read an article where the author wrote about a co-worker who said to him, "Welcome to the club", after he finished his first Ironman.  The author realized that he never saw this as a way to "enter a club."  He was training FOR the Ironman.  For the CHANCE to PARTICIPATE in an Ironman, but to BECOME an Ironman, that was never a thought in the plan.  I can relate so much to this line of thought.  I am not a stellar athlete, and I don't say that to downplay my ability; I just say what I believe to be true.  There are better athletes out there, faster, stronger, facing larger challenges, etc.  I love doing what I do and I am so thankful to have the opportunity. 

Yes, I finished Ironman, but AM I an Ironman?  That is yet to be determined. 

Ironman Texas 2013

Pre Race
Mark and I were up at 4:15 and out the door by 5:10 to get to transition by 5:30.  I found it strange that transition opened so late and while I was double checking the bike and placing my bottles, the announcer kept repeating that they would close transition at 6:15.  I suppose when everything has to be checked in the day before, people do not need much time to get into transition on race morning.

It was quite a walk from transition, Town Green Park, to Northshore Park, where the swim start was staged.  After spending about 40 mins in line for the bathroom, it was time to take a few quick pictures with Mark and Lem.

  I also had the pleasure of meeting up with Erica, Debra, and Dinh!

Next it was time to get into the water and await the shot of the cannon.  As I entered to the right of the dock, I noticed the cannon on the shore line.  I had a good laugh as the thing was maybe a foot long.  It looked like a toy!  But it did it's job, and did it well.    There was lots of nervous energy surrounding me in the water.  I placed myself into a quiet place, said some prayers, got a bit teary-eyed, and then, decided it was time to have fun.

I will list projected times and actual times for each discipline, however, I want to mention that I did not wear a watch to monitor my pace for any of this race.  I did wear a heart rate monitor and made every effort to stay in high zone 2. 

The Swim :  Projected Time:  1:45 - 1:50.  Actual Time:  1:46:36  Avg HR 158; mid zone 2.

I had a difficult time trying to make up my mind about the swim, to wear a wet suit or not?  Finally, on Friday evening, I made the decision to trust completely in my ability to swim this distance, something I have done many times over the last few months, albeit, in a pool, but I knew I could swim this race without the wetsuit.  With that decision made, the only thing left to do was stay calm and try not to allow the typical open water swim panic set in.  I have a great fear of getting hit, breaking a toe or hand, or being swum over.
Fortunately, all of these fears were avoided, mostly.  A few bumps and swipes, but nothing very bad. I stayed on the far right until I reached the canal where I chose to stay in the middle, avoiding the sides where people were walking.
I was very comfortable swimming, not experiencing any feelings of anxiety or panic.  I kept my strokes slow and controlled, my breathing consistent and on the 3 count.  I used the breast stroke when I found I was bumping into people, sought out a place of comfort, and then continued on.  My sighting was easy enough as the buoys were not difficult to see and truthfully, I just kept following the bright caps in front of me.
About half way through the distance, the wet suit wave caught up to us.  I was surprised at how even with a ten minute delay, they were quickly able to reach us.  I continued to the canal and then felt the "washing machine" effect of the water moving side to side as we pressed forward.  As I turned to breathe, I saw many swimmers actually standing up to walk.  As tempting as that seemed, my pride got the best of me and I did not walk, as I did not want any pictures of me showing up "walking" my swim.
I actually sighted Mark and Lem on the side of the water way and George and Trudy!  It was so nice to see them!  I waved and gave them a thumbs up.

Seeing the final red buoy and the stairs to climb out, I was elated to finish this swim.  I think that this was the best I have ever felt after a swim of this length.

"I did NOT drown!!"

T1 Time:  Projected Time: 10:00; Actual Time:  9:42

Took the time to apply enough sunscreen, dry my feet well and take in some calories.  This was all a blur, but I do know that the volunteers were so helpful, kind, and eager to do whatever was necessary to help us get onto the bike.

The Bike:  Projected Time:  7 - 7.5 hours; Actual Time:  7:30:24

This was the part of the race I was probably most concerned about.  I am not a strong cyclist and I have had some difficult training rides, especially on the back part of the course, miles 60-90.  Before starting the race, I made up my mind that know matter what, I would not drop from this race on my own volition.  If I was pulled for medical or failing to meet a cut off, then so be it, but I would not drop.
That decision made, I put myself in a good place mentally.  I focused a great amount of mental energy on staying in my HR zone and I was diligent in my hydration and nutrition.  The first 30 miles of the course, my HR was 20-25 beats into zone 3, usually not an issue on the bike for me, but I determined the heat coupled with the race endorphins were the culprit.  I kept the cadence high and the gears low and had a great ride.
I knew it was hot, but I never asked anyone what the temps were.  I did not want a number in my head to play games with my mind.  I stopped at every aid station long enough to squeeze a full bottle of water into my bike bottle.  It didn't take longer than a minute, but this was an important detail.  I was thankful I had done this by mile 95 as the aid station prior to 95 was 15 miles earlier rather than 10.
I saw MANY guys down on the road.  Heat was getting them.  I passed along some of my s caps and advil to people who needed it and stayed consistent with my own hydration and nutrition.
My nutrition consisted of Tailwind, 265 calories + 24 ounces (at least) of water, and 2 Clif blox per hour.  This magic number was my key to this race, as was the Tailwind Nutrition.  I can't say enough about this product.  It does exactly what it says it will do, and as someone who has suffered several bouts of heat stroke, dehydration, and had to take more than a few dnf's for these conditions, I feel safe in saying, Tailwind saved my race.
I saw Stacy at mile 60, then again at mile 80.  It was so uplifting to see her.  I also was able to speak with The Twinings at the aid station at mile 80.  A true blessing to have them come out to see me and I loved giving them big sweaty hugs!
There was also someone cheering me on on mile 70, but I don't know who it was as I passed by before my eyes could see who they were.  Whomever it was, THANK YOU, for being out there!
Mark and the entire family were at mile 90, and then I saw more friends at mile 110.  I can't say enough how much having support on the course helps.

The only real issue I had on the bike was my feet.  They began to feel as though they were on fire at about mile 70 and by mile 95, I thought I might have to lose the shoes and pedal barefoot.  An aid station volunteer asked me how I was, I mentioned the feet, and she said she was a cyclist and told me to loosen my shoes and start pulling up more.  What an angel.  Elaine Mims, I don't know who you are, but you were spot on!  I did what you suggested and the burning sensation went away almost immediately.
Again, the volunteers working out on the course were amazing.  I pulled into one aid station and saw my friend Ruth who did not know I was doing the race.  When she asked what I needed, I told her a hug, and she obliged!  Thank you Ruth!

T2 Projected Time 10:00 mins; Actual Time 24:00 mins.

I came into T2 with the end of the bike being more of a blur.  I felt great, but knew I needed to cool down before heading out on the run.  I made the decision to take longer in transition under the canopy to cool the core, change clothes, hydrate and apply more sunscreen.  I can't say enough about the ladies working in the changing tents.  They saw nasty stuff and helped remove disgusting clothes.  They applied sunscreen and took excellent care of us.  These folks are not just volunteers, they are saints!
Apparently, people were worried about me being in T2 so long, I never gave it a second thought because I knew exactly what I was doing there.  I didn't know how hot it really was, but I knew it was hot and heading back out without being properly cooled could have had detrimental effects on my run.
Later, when uploading the bike computer info, I was not surprised to see that the temps on the course were 104 degrees.  With little to no shade, with the exception of a few miles in the National Forest, the radiating heat coming off the road is surely what took many of the cyclists down.

The Run:  Projected Time:  4.5 - 5 hours; Actual Time:  5:36:21

The run was a 3 loop course which, in my opinion was perfect for both the athletes and the spectators.  Aid stations were every mile and I never saw a lack of enthusiasm from the volunteers, nor supplies such as ice, water, cola, etc.  Anything I needed, they had.  In the late stages of the run, I needed vaseline and they had plenty of it.
Each loop I planned to run as slow as needed to stay cool and hydrated.  I iced myself often, used the sponges and the water hoses whenever they were offered.  I utilized the 8/2 run/walk pattern as needed.
At one point on loop two, I was trying to do the math for the cut off, and asked Erica about it, thank God for her!  She told me I was on target and to keep doing what I was doing and I would be fine.  That was the only moment of doubt I had and with her reassurance, I let go of my concern and continued enjoying the run.
The kids had all made signs for me and I saw them on each loop.  I saw many friends along the route and made new ones that ran the race with me.

The run wasn't pretty as far as pace goes, but it was amazing as far as experiences go.  Seeing my family and friends at many locations through out the course was incredible.  People I didn't know doing things just to cheer the runners on whether it was dressing as male dancers( I took time to dance with them!) or playing loud music, or cheering as loud as they possibly could just to keep our spirits high!  And seeing friends that I did know working at aid stations, making sure I got a special touch of love, a hug, a smile, anything they could to encourage me.

I swear I must have had one of the largest cheering sections of all the athletes!  They are absolutely the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for, and I am humbled by the amount of sacrifice that they made in order for me to participate in this event.  For all the hours of my absence they endured while I trained, planned, rested, and trained some more, for the financial expense that a race of this nature incurs.  For the important events I missed while training and even while racing.  Foo's prom was the same night as the race and I was not there for him.  I know he understands, but if I have any regret, it is that I missed his day.  He did tell me that he saw me cross the finish line!  His prom was at the same hotel that the race was stationed out of and by some miracle, he came outside just as I crossed the finish line.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Speaking of the finish line, it was above and beyond the most amazing finish I have ever had.  Literally thousands of people lining the street, screaming and cheering, high-fiving, and fist pumping us all the way through the chute!  I think this picture taken by Mel really captures the moment so well.  It was all a blur, yet at the same time, I was stuck in time.

 I felt like a rock star and while this normally would make me very uncomfortable, I gladly accepted the vibes sent my way so as to honor my friends and family who have done so much for me.  This was not about me.  This was about us.  A group effort, led by our Father, fed by the Holy Spirit, and completed through Christ. 
Ironman's motto is "Anything is possible."  I believe this in my heart of hearts, but I think more accurately, it should be stated, "Anything is possible, through Christ who gives me strength."  

Upon crossing the finish line, I was caught by some wonderful friends, George and Trudy.  They took excellent care of me!  George made sure I hit all the appropriate stops along the way of the finishers alley.  Received my medal, my shirt, my hat, and took a picture.  He then walked me to my wonderful family.  Before long, I was encircled by many friends and family that had come to support me.  I felt completely loved as I turned around looking at all of the faces smiling at me.  I was awestruck.  To say I feel blessed does not even begin to describe it.  What I felt was the love that is known as Agape love.  A love beyond human love. 

I am going to place a few pictures here from the run and the finish.

Erica, Debra, and Might E! Helping me stay the course!

 

No words.

Finish Line is in Sight!

All Glory Be To God!

I would be greatly remiss if I did not give great thanks to Richard.  Not only did he overcome his obstacles far greater than my own to complete his 3rd Ironman to date, he held my hand through the last year of training, answering any and all questions I had, silly or not.  He encouraged me and believed in me when I could not believe that this was possible.  We spent many hours together training and talking and I have no doubt that without his help, I would not have completed this milestone.  Thank you is so inadequate in this situation, but it is all I have.  Thank you and I will pay it forward to someone else.
Also, to Angie and Amber, two wonderful new friends that I pray I will always be able to train with.  You girls are amazing and I love you!  This journey was complete because you were with me.

Of course, Mark, more than anyone, deserves the IM medal more than I.  No one else could put up with what I put him through.  For everything, for every single thing, thank you, and I love you.  Forever.

To my children and grandchildren, I love you more than life itself.  I know I have been a challenge to live with the last few months.  I appreciate your selfless giving of countless hours of babysitting, praying, coffee making, cooking and cleaning.  You guys are the best!

To my extended family, I love you more than ever before.  We have come through some real challenges as a family over the years and to be able to share this celebration of life with you is a gift.  I thank God every day for you and for all that you give of yourselves to me and to my children.

To my wonderful friends.  I would love to name you all, but I know I would leave someone out and I just can't bear that.  Know that I love each and everyone of you and that your prayers carried me through IMTX.  I felt every single one as I smiled through the entire course.  There is only one reason that this experience was as joyful as it was and it is purely due to your prayers, your cheers, your encouragement, your love.  Forever, I am grateful to you.  Each and every one. 

The Big Picture

Tonight at the Y, I was frantically trying to get my spin done so I could hurry home to eat dinner and get on with other chores that I am falling behind on and maybe even spend a few minutes with my kiddos before bedtime.

From across the room, I noticed a woman and a young man, probably in his late teens, maybe even his early 20s.  I could ascertain that this young man was the woman's son and was autistic.  He was not very verbal, but he was physically very fit and able-bodied.   His mother was helping him complete his workout on the Cybex machines.  She would run him through his sets, then he would sit directly in front of her while she did hers.

She was so kind.  She was so loving.  She was so patient.  I have always thanked God for the health of my children, and I have watch my children struggle with different situations from learning difficulties to emotional health problems.  I have close friends that have children with very serious health conditions and I have always admired them.  The parent of a special needs child lives a life of complete sacrifice and constant devotion.  If I am having a particularly bad spell with a child of mine, I can get out for a bit alone and get myself back on track.

The parents of a special needs child does not get this option.  These saints on earth dedicate their entire lives, for the rest of their lives, helping to care for, sometimes completely, these beautiful souls from Heaven.  I know how difficult this must be as I have talked with many parents that have children requiring this level of care.  These are the most selfless people who take on the most often thankless job of caregiver. 

For a moment last night, I felt somewhat guilty.  I mean, here I am training for an Ironman.  Worried about silly things like, "Will I have time to fit a swim in tomorrow if I am running child A to all of their appointments."  And this woman, helping her son as I am sure she has done every day of his life up to this point, will more than likely never have the time to dedicate to what I am blessed to do.    I began to feel a bit shallow, and again, I thanked God for the health of my children and their ability to grow to be independent adults one day.  Then I began to feel sorrow for her.  Until....

Her back was to me as she sat on the Cybex machine getting ready to do her set.  Her son sat dutifully directly in front of her and I could see his face.  He was so happy!  He was looking at his mother with the most beautiful eyes and smile I have ever seen!  He took her hand and rubbed in on his head, seeking comfort from her.  She accommodated him.  Then he took her hand and kissed it.  Over and over and over again.  He kissed her hand.  And I saw Jesus.  Kissing the hand of Our Blessed Mother.  And it was beautiful.

In all circumstances, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 
 1Thessalonians 5:18

Farewell 2012!

I have heard it said by many people that 2012 was a terrible year.  A horrible year.  A year they would like to forget.  Some of these people have also said the very same thing about 2011, 2010, 2009, etc.

I'd like to send 2012 off with many thanks.  It's been a challenging year on many fronts.  While setting my goals, personal, spiritual, and athletic, for 2012, I knew that these would involve some discomfort and discontent for me.

All of my goals had to be built from my baseline spiritual goals.  There was one goal with 5 aspects.  Everything I did, everything, every single thing, had to be in line and beneficial for each of the following which I call

 The 5 Things:
1.  My relationship with God
2.  My marriage
3.  My children and extended family relationships
4.  My health
5.  Becoming debt free

From each of these aspects, I built my goals.  In each area, I am thankful to say that I have made great strides!  Of course I am far from where I'd like to eventually be, but I am moving in the right direction and have done the work necessary to continue to work on these things in a deeper and more meaningful way.

The troublesome times definitely showed up.  Points where I had to decide that even the good things I was involved in had to go.  Negative people and situations had to be removed if there was no hope of things changing.  That old saying about life being too short...I get it now.

Losing "friends" and feeling quite lonely has been the most difficult thing of all.  Once a very social and outgoing person, I find I do most things alone now.  I have a circle of friends that are true and not an inflated version of what friendship should be.  I am so very grateful and blessed by these people.

I have found myself being called to a lifestyle that is so contrary to anything that I ever have been before and yet, I know that this is where He is asking me to go.   I know this because I have seen myself change in ways I never thought possible and yearning for that next step in the change.  It is not scary, it is not without direction.  I was blessed to find a spiritual director this year, after close to 13 years of seeking one out.  This relationship has been the catalyst for so much growth within me that I hardly recognize myself at times.  I am thankful that I keep a journal to see this transformation in a more objective way.

On the outside, I may not seem much different, but I know I am seeing things through different eyes today.  And this is the blessing.

As far as my goals for 2013, they won't change much from 2012.  The only change will be to narrow the path even more so as to focus my efforts even more on the 5 Things.  By fall, the 5th thing will be reached and a new goal will begin.  The freedom of being debt free will allow us to do things for our future that we have not yet been able to accomplish.  I am looking forward to that!

My threshold through which my daily life will pass will be two-fold.  I will strive to continue to find joy in each day and I will be practicing the true nature of Gospel Charity.   As my faith tells me, I must find Christ in every person that I meet.  I must love them as Christ would love them.  As I sat in Mass last night, I prayed to God that He show me how I can better do this.
Gospel Charity were the words I heard.  Gospel Charity.  Of course!  How can I possibly "see" or "love" someone as Christ would if I do not "think" of them as Christ does?  Gospel Charity needs to begin in my head, move to my heart and then the act will come naturally. 

This will be a challenge for me, this I know.  I hold myself to a very high standard of expectation and as a result, I hold others to that same standard.  This is unfair of me and something I have been trying to change for quite some time.  2013 will give me the opportunity to put this into true practice.

Since this blog is where I tend to document my athletic endeavors, I will share my goals that I have defined thus far.
My main focus for 2013 will be to finish Ironman Texas.  I can't really set many goals past that point as I do not know what I will feel like after the race.  I would "like" to consider another go at the 100, but I am not ready to commit to that just yet.  I hope to at least fit in some 50s.  Only He knows where He will bring me.  

2013 will be a big year for our family.  We will see a college graduation, a high school graduation, an Ironman finish (hopefully), our son going off to college, preparations for Confirmation for Lem and Reconciliation and Eucharist for Boo.  I am certain many other things will bless our lives this coming New Year and  I look forward to every moment.  For even in our trials and hardships we are blessed.

Au Revoir 2012! 

Catching Santa

My kids and I are somewhat obsessed with Kid Snippets.  If you have never seen them, they are worth a few minutes of your day that you could otherwise be doing something much more important.

The shopping is done, the workouts are happening, and the knee is behaving!  Now, if only I could get the wrapping finished!

Many blog posts are sitting in my draft folder...I will finish them.  I hope. 

No. Please. No.

Just got word that NBC will be producing a remake of my favorite movie of all time, The Sound of Music.

Kelly Woo over at Yahoo News...I know, shoot me now, reported in her online article that Robert Greenblatt from NBC Entertainment (now there's an oxymoron) said...

Maria von Trapp "was an iconic woman who will now be played by an iconic artist"

 Ummmm....excuse me?  Mr. Greenblatt, may I introduce you to Julie Andrews?

Take a listen....

Miss Underwood is, I am sure, a wonderful person and appears to have made a name for herself among the music industry, however, in comparison to the voice of Julie Andrews, well, there just isn't any way to compare the two.  



I only wonder if Blake Shelton will be reprising the role of Captain von Trapp. 

Somethings should never be re-made.  

Chocolate Chip Cookies
My Mom's Orange Dream
My kids
The Sound of Music

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is for NBC to not touch this movie. Never ever.  Like Ever.  
K

Advent 2012

I have been thinking of Advent as it fast approaches this year.  Everyone, it seems, is in such a hurry to get to Christmas.  Stores had decorations up before Halloween, neighbors had lights up weeks before Thanksgiving, and the commercials and mail ads have been hitting our home en masse!

Living in a warm climate, the liturgical seasons really help to provide a natural pause to life, a natural season that we might not have without the weather to remind us of what month it is on the calendar.  80 degree Halloweens, with 80 degree Thanksgivings, followed by sudden temperature drops plunge us right into our 50 degree winters/Christmas.  Advent is an after thought, if considered at all.

I rather enjoy the gentle warmth of Thanksgiving and fall and then lean into the season of Advent, slowly, intentionally, and purposefully.

Reviewing past blog posts about Advent, this one from my older blog seemed to bring me back to simpler times.  Funny thing is, I remember how "stressed" and "too busy"; "too worldly" we seemed to be.  I suppose it always seems that way. 

This year, Advent will be a time, once again, to focus our lives on the simple beauty of Christmas, through the preparational time afforded to us through our Heavenly Father.  How wise and wonderful He is to give us these times and seasons of preparation!

I have learned in the last many years that living simply does not mean sitting around doing things.  It does mean that in having less, we may do more work.  For instance, having convenience foods sitting in the pantry may seem to make meal prep go faster, but it does not do anything to remove clutter from our lives.  Pie crust mixes, pre-packaged cookie and cake mixes, may seem handy, but they take room and don't we already have all of the ingredients needed to make these things?

What we don't have is the time.  Living simply, to me, means stripping away the busy-ness of life that keeps me from making homemade cookies and cakes, and delicious made-from-scratch meals that my family loves.  When I am too busy answering calls, texts, emails, etc, to be "with" my family, my children, then something must change.  Yes, it means once again saying "No" to outside comittments and no one likes to hear "No".  I know I don't like saying it.  But it is necessary for the life I aspire to have.

New Year Resolutions for 2012 were simple.  No activities were going to be allowed into our lives if they did not help these five areas of my family's life.

1.  Relationship with God
2.  Relationship with spouse
3. Relationship with children
4. Health and fitness
5. Becoming free from Debt.

As we approach the close of the liturgical year and the year of 2012, we are closer than ever to these goals.  There have been a few detours and bumps in the road, but all in all, we are on the right path.

May you each be blessed by the season of Advent and may you always for the joy and peace that God has for you.

Pruning

I've been doing a bit of pruning in my life and as it seems, it hurts.  But once the cut occurs, the healing begins and the peace sets in.   Amazingly, a new sense of freedom fills the void left behind by the pruning.  And then I know that all is right.

Today completes my first full week of Ironman Texas training.  It has been fun to get back to the swimming and leaving my comfort zone, tried mountain biking today.  On Wednesday I was able to get a 5K in for Heart Rate Training purposes and establish zones for the next 25 weeks of training.

I plan to run another time trial this week to double check my numbers as my Garmin chest strap has not been very reliable.  A new one should arrive sometime this week.

Week two of training will need to be tweaked a bit to allow for closures at the Y due to Thanksgiving.  Spin classes are canceled and the evening pool times have changed.  Knowing what I have to get in this next week makes it easier to adjust the schedule for the entire week.

Puppy Rosie is growing bigger every day.  She has been with us 4 weeks already.  She has come a long way on her leash training and can "Sit" very well.  She still has some work to do in the "potty-training" department, but we see hope that in the next few weeks, she will be trained completely.

New Baby!

I'd like to introduce you all to our newest family member, Rosie!  We met her when she was less than a week old.  Her mother rejected her and all of her siblings and some friends of ours from our Homeschool Co-op, adopted her and one of her sisters.  Mary hand fed the girls against all odds of them surviving.

Happily, Rosie and her sister both survived and now are 7 weeks old!  We brought Rosie home yesterday and she fits right in our busy home.

Hannah, our 12 year old lab isn't so ecstatic, but hopefully, she will find a soft spot for this sweet little girl.   KC, our little terrier mix, has done much better adjusting to not being the baby, though she is not THAT happy about things.

I'm hopeful that in a few months, Rosie and I will be able to blaze some trails together.  She has tons of energy, is very obedient, and seems to have a wonderful personality that will translate into a happy and well-balanced dog.

Taper madness has begun and she is the perfect distraction from all that I would normally be obsessing about this week.

Heaven

With great sadness I write today to let my followers know that the young boy, Hans, who is/was my inspiration for running my first 5K, entered Heaven yesterday.

As it was, I had my own little boy, Boo, at the doctor yesterday for a suspicious looking mole on his back.  I thought of Hans all day and wondered how he was doing.  This morning, I received the message that he has passed away.

I feel so selfish for my tears, my anger, my pain.  I did not walk the path of cancer with Hans.  His family and very close friends did.  My tears, anger, and pain come from the sorrow that this family must feel, and the complete helplessness that I feel about not being able to do much after praying.

What do we pray for?  A healing?  A miracle?  Understanding? Comfort? Heaven?  When the pain is so great, do we pray for it all to just stop?  I know I did with my Mom.  But for a young boy?  A boy of only 9 years?  Sometimes, I just don't understand.  But I do know this.  Hans changed the hearts and lives of many, many people. He was the inspiration for me to run a 5K after a mere 5 weeks of running experience.  He afforded me the opportunity to DO something WHILE praying.  And he continues to provide this for me.

The family has asked that we pray for them.  And if you are so inclined, please pray a Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary.   I am off to hug my babies. 

Blessings Run

Heading into this weekend, I had full knowledge that getting my miles in was going to prove to be a challenge, but I had a plan and the plan worked...in my mind.

Then reality showed up as the front door and took any hope of what I thought would be away.  I kept my head about me and re-figured my plan.  And then reality showed up again.  So once more, I re-figured the plan and again, reality won out.  Slowly, I could feel the fires of angst being stoked.

I am embarrassed to admit that many times this is the way things go in my life, and I tend to just throw my hands up and stress about missed mileage, missed workouts, and act badly with bouts of pouting and frustration.  Over the past several months, I have been working on my attitude when these things come up and today afforded me the perfect opportunity to exercise my "blessings" muscle.

Today's lesson looked like this:                              

I am going to run in Huntsville!  -

Reality showed up when Mark told me he was working today which meant I needed to stay close to home for the kids. 

Blessing realized - I have a wonderful husband willing to work 6-7 days a week to provide the kids and I a very good life.  

I have happy, healthy, active children that require me to be with them to keep them safe, fed, and cared for.  

I switched the plan to run with my local running club early in the morning. -

Reality showed up in the form of an adorable little boy who wanted to crawl into bed 20 minutes before my alarm because he was scared and needed his mommy.  Early morning run out.

Blessing realized - Boo is 6 years old and chances are, he won't be climbing into bed with me many more times.  He is working through his developmental fears and I am so thankful that I can be the one to be there for him, (thunder, dark, scary noises, all a big deal to a little boy).

I decided to run as soon as the kids were awake while the older kids were around to babysit. -

Reality once again arrived in the form of little Boo sneaking downstairs to surprise me with a "breakfast".

Blessing realized -  He poured a cup of coffee with cream, placed it onto the table with a cute little clementine on a plastic toddler plate.  He was so excited to see my reaction to his efforts!  He told me he could only pour a little coffee because the pot was so heavy and he used the plastic plate because he couldn't reach the ceramic plates.  He and I sat together and enjoyed the moment.  He savored watching me eat the orange and drink the coffee.  It was a priceless moment that I would never have had if "my plan" had happened.

Switched up the plan one last time to just go run for two hours while the teens were still at home. -

Reality, my dear companion, reminded me that my teens had a busy day at Church serving at Mass and then a Baptism service.  This meant I had less then 2 hours to get my mileage in.  

Blessing realized - Mark and I are blessed with amazing kids that feel called to serve others as much as they can.  We are continually humbled by their dedication to God, to our faith, and to our parish.  We are inspired by their witness.  

I headed out the door promising my son that I would be back in plenty of time for him to get to the Church.  As I set out on my 90 minute run, these thoughts filled my mind.

Sure, I want to run for 2 hours, but I get 90 minutes.  I am blessed to have 90 minutes.  To run.  To pray.  To sing along with my music.  To see the town.  To feel the sun.  To feel the rain.  To breathe.  I also had the blessing of snuggling with Boo, having breakfast with him, and reassuring his sweet soul.  

 I had 90 minutes to offer thanksgiving for the friends and family in my life, some of whom were having great races today!    

I had 90 minutes to pray for the soul of an acquaintance from our Church family that gained her eternal life this morning after 10 months of battling cancer.  While I rest in the knowledge that she is blissfully happy, I grieve with her family who will miss her so much until they are once again re-united.  

Would I have given up 30 minutes of run time for all of that?  Yes, I would.  In fact, I would give the entire run up for that. 

Simplicity

Living simply has been something I have been working towards for several years now.  The term itself just exudes a beauty that I long to capture in my daily life.

But as human nature would have it, as my nature would have it, living simply has become overly complicated.  And ironically, in order to strive to live simply, any google search will leave you wanting to buy more books and systems that claim to help simplify and organize our lives while filling our shelves and minds with even more stuff.  We often spend precious time we so desperately long to keep to ourselves culling through websites trying to find the magic key to this so called nirvana of a more peace-filled life.

I have had numerous posts roaming through my mind on this topic of late, especially since we were dealing with a very intense personal situation in which all that we as a family knew was being threatened by an outside person who was unknown to us until very recently.  

Thankfully, that person has been stopped and while the "situation" is not over nor is it resolved, we feel a bit more at ease.  Living through 4 months of constant stress and uncertainty of what would happen at any given moment that would require immediate action, has left me with many lesson.  Some of those lessons pertain directly to living more simply, in a very tangible way.  One of the most important lessons I have taken away from this experience is this...

Life is NOT an emergency.  There are urgent situation which arise, sometimes more often than I would like, but my LIFE is a gift.  It is to be treasured.  It is to be enjoyed.  Even in the most difficult times, the most challenging situations.  It is NOT to be lived as though I am on auto pilot, or even worse, as if I have no say in what I do with my time while I am here.  Life is precious.   Ann Voskamp states, "Life is not an emergency, it is Eucharisteo!"  

There are three areas that I find simplicity must be found in to be truly successful.

1.  The physical world in which we live:   Our stuff must minimize to make room for our hearts and souls to fill.  This is the culling through process which so many of us welcome....getting rid of stuff.  The trick is to keep the stuff away in the first place. The way in which we discern what to keep and what to decline must relate to our frame of reference.  For me and for my family, this is a deeply spiritual process and therefore #2 on this list must be addressed first.

2.  Our time:  Our calendars fill up quickly with many wonderful and many obligatory activities.  It must be a priority to simplify our daily lives in the realm of time to allow for the next step on this list.  In order for us to prioritize which activities are best FOR us, we must understand what our purpose is.   To discover this, we must spend time, in the classroom of silence, listening to what He has to tell us.  Every day. First thing.  Even before coffee...ok, maybe with coffee in hand.  

3.  Spiritually:  We can get bogged down in our faith lives too.  Trying to pray just the right way, attending the perfect retreat or bible study.  We over-complicate the simplest of ideas.  Love.  Love one another.  Love God.  Love yourself.  It is that simple.   Once we understand what we are being called to, we can better define number 1 and number 2.  

I plan to take each of these areas and expand on them separately.  Hopefully, I won't lose to many of you, but I do understand if this is not your cup of tea.  

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.  ~Leonardo DaVinci

Harvest

Since leaving FB, I have lost many of my garden pictures.  I think I have them somewhere on my phone, but that would mean figuring out how to upload them as a group rather than emailing them to myself one at a time.  C'est la vie!

Today I finally found a use for the mint that I can't seem to kill off!  Mint tea! It's delicious and a nice change from coffee.  I really need to give the brown crack up soon.

Yesterday's harvest 

Now I am trying to make with my beautiful eggplant!  We made hummus last weekend.  I am thinking of something more substantial...maybe a bit of garlic, onion, tomatoes....mmmmm.....

Life BFB

*** Most of this post will be cryptic to many of you, but I ask you to pray anyway. Once I go to a more private setting, I will be able to reveal a bit more of the situation my family and I are going through.  Be assured that we are all safe and we are not afraid.***  

Life before Facebook.  Before Smart phones.  Before the phase of life wherein I have been connected 24/7/365.  It was a simpler time and while I have enjoyed the many benefits of being able to stay connected with many friends and long distance family, feel productive with the ability to immediately deal with an email or a text, and sharing pictures with my closest 254 friends whenever the need arose, I am done.  This "convenience" has come with a high price tag.  It has cost me time.  Valuable time.  This has been the state of my life for close to three years now and I am over it all.  

Yes, my family's security has been compromised.  Not in the way that most people feel it, through loss of money because of hacked bank accounts or unauthorized credit card purchases, but in a total loss of privacy.  And you all are victims of this as well.  

I should have stayed with my guts on this stuff.  It never has sat well with me about how very entwined everything has become.  And because of this, some bad folks have been taking full license to terrorize my family, some of our friends, and turn our lives upside down.

So, my prayer for a simpler life has been answered in a big way.  Instead of responding to urgent fb messages, texts, and emails, I will be curling up on the couch with the kids, reading about another time and place while sipping on a cup of joe, with cream of course.

While I may not be up on all the goings on of everyone's life, I will know my children on a deeper level.  And this has been my prayer for well over a year.  Who knew that it would be answered in this way?  Not I.  And I don't really like how it is coming to be, but I must find the lesson in all of this turmoil and the lesson is, thus far, He is answering my prayer through the actions of someone very misguided. 

I am not scared.  In fact, I am feeling a call to love.  To pray.  To seek a deeper relationship with the one who is putting us through this.  Not out of pity, rather out of love.  Someone in my life is so hurt by something in their past that they have decided that terrorizing other people is the only thing they can do.  

If I was somehow party to any of this person's hurt, I want the chance to apologize.  I want the opportunity to sit and talk and find a better answer, because while this situation is very unpleasant to be in, it must feel even worse to be the person who is trying to sleep at night knowing that they are threatening children, their families, and all in the name of an unknown cause.  This person must be in a very grave state of pain when the only thing which can bring some relief is to bring pain and confusion to others.

Please join me in praying for the complete conversion of all souls who feel furthest from Him today.  I know I have been there and those prayers may have been the only thing that kept me from certain doom.  Let us surround those tortured souls with love, kindness, and prayer.  Most importantly, prayer. It is the most powerful weapon we possess against evil.

Nature Study

Occasionally, we actually get out and do a few nature sketches.  Nature drawing gives us the opportunity to really gaze at the plant and appreciate each tiny detail.  The shape of the petals, the exact shade of green, how the center exists and the petals appear to float from it.  

April in Texas is a beautiful time for this as the temps are perfect and everything is fully in bloom.

One of my favorite plants is the Star Jasmine that we planted several years ago.  It is such a fragrant flower.  It's scent fills the air all around the house!  

I love how simple this little flower is.  Do not let it's size fool you.  It may be small but it is a hardy plant surviving the worst winters and the harsh summers including droughts, hurricanes, and insects providing weeks of beautiful fragrance and beauty to let us know that the Earth has once again returned to life!

Hearken to this, O Job! Stand and consider the wondrous works of God! 

                                                      Job 37:14

Mom

It's hard to believe that you went home 7 years ago today.  If only I knew how strong you really were, how deeply you really loved, and how driven you were to stay with us.  If only I had known to ask you all of those questions that have come up since then.  If only.

You are the reason I am who I am today.  You are my example of strength and passion.  You loved life so much and you have passed that joy and commitment to live each day I am given as if it were my last.

I miss you so much and I look forward to the day we can be together again.  Until that time, I will be honoring your memory by making you proud of who I have become in spite of my earlier efforts to mess things up in a big way.  I will raise your grandchildren and great-grandchildren to remember you as a woman of dignity and honor.  And I will run.  For you.

Lynne

September 29, 1942 - March 28, 2005

Sidelines

Not sure what is more frustrating, having an injury directly related to running that prevents me from running or having an injury that has nothing to do with running that won't allow me to do much of anything.   Pretty sure it is the latter.  And to add insult to injury, the best weather of the entire year is currently upon us and I am sitting on the sidelines.  Kind of.

My times of injury or illness allow for me to catch up on other things around the house, such as cleaning, re-organizing, decluttering, gardening, etc.  All those things that go by the wayside when I'm heavy into training.  I'll admit it, I even forgo grocery shopping some weeks because I have too much to fit in on any given day.

This week has been a real challenge to me with not being able to do much in the way of training.  I find it very strange that although I am really missing running, even more, I miss swimming!  I can't even wrap my head around that.  Swimming is not something I do to "train", rather, it is something I do to "relax" or "stretch out" from the miles and miles of running I put on my body.  A year ago, I was fearful of swimming and did everything I could to avoid the activity.  Now, I long for it.

So, no running, no swimming, no push ups, no pull ups, no dips, no upper body strengthening, no yoga.  I am determined to find something I can do.  I try spinning in the gym and it goes OK.  30 mins twice this week and I didn't die.  I didn't find much excitement in it, but it was something and in a week with no running, I have 24 miles on the books.  I like that.

I have been doing lunges and squats without weights.  I meant to try the stair climber, but I just can't bring myself to do it.  Maybe later today.

I have also been attacking several of the closets and cupboards in the home.  One such cupboard is my "Tupperware" cupboard.  I honestly have about 3 pieces of Tupperware, so why I call it this, I have no idea.  I suppose it sounds better than "my Gladware cupboard."   Tupperware.  What a strange word.  Say it a few times.  Go ahead.  Weird.  Isn't it.  Did someone named Tupper create the stuff?

Before.  The bane of my existence, second only to my garage.

This cupboard is my horrible little secret.  I don't show just anyone this stuff.  People might judge me.  But I trust all of you.  That much.  Boo and I got to work on this mess one night after dinner.  He helped  to get rid of anything that didn't have a matching lid or was unnecessary.  We even recycled the items we culled from the pile.

After.  Taking bets on how long this lasts.

I have decided that there are a few things in my life that reflect my current mental state.  This cupboard is one of those things. My purse is the other, as is the piles of laundry awaiting folding and hanging.  If any of these areas are a mess, I can guarantee I am too busy.  I am going to attempt to use my newly organized cabinet as a barometer of my state in life.  Is that enough to commit me?

Several other areas in the house have been attacked with force, I just did not, (fortunately for you, my dear readers), think to take pictures before and after. 

I've been feeling pretty happy with my household accomplishments and then had a nice reality check this morning....

Lentils.

The dogs even gave up after about 15 minutes of straight feast time.  The drawer on the left was pulled open by Fish mid-way through clean up and broken, but not enough to clean out the Lentils that are under said drawer.  24 hours later, I am still avoiding the complete dismantling of my refrigerator to clean it all up and instead I am vying for a new refrigerator.  I mean seriously, who can live with a broken vegetable drawer?!

I hope these ribs heal soon.