I have recently deactivated my Facebook account in an effort to help me to refocus and refresh where my efforts are leaning.
If I am to run a 100 miler in October, I believe that all of my energy and time that I have to spend away from my vocation as mom need to be placed upon this. I can't believe what a time sink FB has become and while I do enjoy the distraction as well as seeing what old friends and my beautiful granddaughter are doing, I also find that I will push away those who live with me just so I can catch up with someone that pre-fb days, I would not have been keeping up with.
I don't know when or if I will return to FB. If I do, it will be managed much differently.
So my efforts are shifting to the house, running, and a bit of blogging. I hope to figure out this 100 miler thing. I want to get it done in October so that I don't have to train so hard during the holidays. But I am also preparing a back up plan to run the 100 in February if needed, or maybe even desired.
Huntsville holds a very special meaning to me with my mom's ashes being spread there. I feel a certain peace as soon as I enter the park and I long to return the moment I leave. It's one of those places that I don't mind being along. I feel safe and I really don't ever feel as though I am by myself.
That is one aspect of running that I never realized I would have to embrace if I am to complete the goals that I have set forth for myself. Up until recently, running has afforded me many social opportunities that I might never have experienced. And being a fairly social person, I love this. However, not many of these wonderful people have the goals that I do. They are so good to support me in my efforts emotionally, but let's face it, who else but a wannabe ultramarathoner would want to run 35 miles on a Sunday morning in 90+ degree heat just the for training? Who else would want to run on trails that have horseflies and snakes just lurking in the background or stumps and roots that wait for just the right moment to pop up and trip you? I understand that what I am undertaking is unusual and most people aren't interested in doing it themselves. Why I have it imprinted on my soul to do it, I'll never know.
So, as I am discovering, training for these events is a lonely affair. I suppose it is meant to be. There will be many moments on the trail of the race that will be spent alone. I need to be comfortable with that. And I am far from it. I will admit, it is getting better as I do it more and more. I find that I am looking for moments to run solo. I believe this process is less about running and more about something bigger than myself.